Your Name Tastes Like Asparagus

This essay is my English mid-term. I revised it and posted it to here because I think it does a very good job explaining my synesthesia and shows a lot of progress I've made between this essay and my Window Into Synesthesia essay.

Has the word sharp ever tasted salty? Has the number 9 looked like the color orange? Does Mozart's music take the shape of a square? To individuals with synesthesia, these are all distinct possibilities. Having synesthesia myself, I've always wondered if people could taste my name as I've tasted theirs. I thought this was how everyone perceived the world, but this was not the case. Just as it's normal for the sky to be blue to some, it's normal for me to see and taste a conversation. Therefore, normal is a subjective term. Nobody is exempt from this. Just as it's normal for me to have synesthesia, it isn't to someone else.

For those that don't know, synesthesia is a brain disorder (I prefer to think of it as a difference, since "disorder" has a negative connotation to it) in which certain stimuli cause one's sense to blend together. In my particular case, music and words (either spoken or written) cause me to see colors and shapes as well as get taste sensations. This is especially true for guttural spoken languages and words with hard vowel sounds. I also get strong sensations from brass and string instruments as well as electronic music. There are many bands that trigger my synesthesia pleasurably, but I'm going to stick to 3: Gorillaz, Crystal Castles, and Explosions in the Sky.

Gorillaz is probably the most powerful of of any sensation. Boasting an incredibly diverse sound, I get incredibly diverse sensations. For example: their song El Mañana tastes crunchy to me, whereas Fire Coming Out Of The Monkey's Head is green and wavy, while Every Planet We Reach Is Dead is very purple and gives me the sensation of standing in fog. A much more defined sensation, Crystal Castles is very linear, brightly colored, and short lived to me. For example, their song Knights gives me cadet blue lattice structures that taste like popcorn. In stark contrast, Explosions in the Sky is very deeply colored, flowing, and liquid-y to me, like a Tai Chi of music. The First Breath After Coma is very scarlet and washes over me, coming in waves. While all this is very remarkable, keep in mind that I can't turn these sensations off.

Synesthesia is very intrusive in day-to-day life for me. Constantly reading signs and billboards, as well as conversation and music played in a public store can be very overwhelming for me. I've learned to cope with it (since I've had it my entire life) but there are still some obnoxious sensations that can be very stressing. It's possible for me to go from completely relaxed to completely agitated, so in that way I'm very fickle. I don't expect people to understand my idiosyncrasies, which can also be stressful when someone asks why I get agitated at something. Remember: Normal is a subjective term. Everyone has their own ideas of what normality is.

Just like the flip side of a coin, synesthesia is amazing in personal life. When I go home and crack open a book, play a vinyl, and burn some incense... Man alive nothing beats that feeling. It also comes alive when I write, making wordplay fun. Even right now, there are colors and tastes firing off in my mind. I honestly couldn't image life without my synesthesia, either. It's all a matter of finding a balance, like Yin & Yang. Both on their own is bad, but balanced together they create a harmony.

Conformity (not over-conformity) is something everyone strives for, whether they notice it or not. It means functioning in society, which is survival. While it gives me a unique perspective, I don't think my synesthesia makes me special or anything. (I mean good God, I'd be the worst kind of special snowflake if I did.) I have a different challenge but the same goal as others: fake it until you make it. I reserve judgement because normal is a subjective term. We all face the struggle of conformity, though.

Normality is what we define it as, not an absolute truth. Think before you judge someone else for being "weird". There's a good chance they can turn around and say the same thing about you.

Other Synesthesia Essays/Pieces:

A post on Wordpress
A student study on synesthesia
A good brief review that showcases other sources

A Window into Synesthesia

Before I begin, let me clarify that I’m writing this with the assumption that you, the reader, already know what synesthesia is. If you don’t, I implore you to look it up before reading any further (you DO have the internet, so it’s not that difficult to Google it right now). Now that that’s covered, let me first explain what my synesthesia is.

          My synesthesia is a combination of sound-taste, color-auditory, and color-graphemic. In other words, words and sounds give me tastes and color sensations. This happens when I listen to music and read or hear words (especially words with hard vowel sounds). Music gives me more color sensations and words give me more tastes. For example, I find think the word 'sharp' tastes like Palestinian rock candy and is very pyramidal in shape, and the name 'Aaron' is very brown to me and looks like rocks.

          Do I find it intrusive in day-to-day life? Yes and no. Sometimes it’s enjoyable and relaxing when I’m doing something, but mostly it’s irritating and uncomfortable. For example, it’s a royal pain in the ass when trying to hold a conversation because I have to push the sensations to the back of my head while trying focus on the cohesion of the conversation. There is a flip side to this, however: it’s highly enjoyable in private life. For example, when I get home, playing music fuels my creativity when free writing as I the sensations make it very easy to have something to write about and describe.

          To help get an idea of what it’s like for me, I’m going to describe some of the sensations I get from bands. These bands are Crystal Castles, Explosions in the Sky, Mogwai, and Gorillaz. The reason I’m choosing these is because they give me stronger sensations which makes it easier to describe. See, it’s exhausting for me to articulate my synesthesia because of the layers of complexity behind it.

For starters, I’m keeping the image and taste of a sensation in my head for an extended period of time. On top of that, the words I’m articulating are giving me fresh sensations that I have to push away. (It’s one thing to do it when focusing on something entirely different like a conversation. It’s another thing entirely to focus on something similar. Imagine trying to focus on a riff in a song and play it while other songs play in the background.) The last part is less difficult but a challenge nonetheless: Finding right words to concisely articulate what I’m saying. It’s easier to do this as I mature, but still difficult because I’m attempting to convey something the other person often times has a very difficult time understanding. I’m not saying this to make a sob story; I’m saying this to help better understand what it’s like for me as a synesthete. Now, on the bands themselves.

I’ll start with Crystal Castles. I get very linear sensations from this band, along with crackling colors and tastes. My favorite song of theirs is Knights, which gives me rigid, icy blue vertical and horizontal lines that flash and disappear. They don’t flash in a particular pattern like a lattice structure or anything; they appear at random. In the background behind the lines, there’s a constant crackling and softly glowing yellow, almost like popcorn. It doesn’t taste like anything in particular; just a very bland spice at times. Next is Explosions in the Sky.

Explosions in the Sky is very red to me, often a deep scarlet and liquid-y. It’s very brightly glowing at times and very smooth as a texture. My favorite song of theirs is First Breath After Coma. There’s no real taste to me; the sensations of this band wash over me like waves, too. It’s very flowing, almost like a Tai Chi of music. Mogwai, on the other hand, is on the opposite end of this.

Mogwai is very rough and green to me. It’s very solid in the shapes it creates, and rather than it washing over me, it’s like I have to come over to it to observe it. My favorite song of theirs is Sine Wave. There isn’t any particular taste to their music, either (again, words trigger my tastes more than music does). I do see highly defined patterns on the surface of the shapes. For example, Sine Wave is rough and scaly, kind of like a pineapple mixed with an iguana.

Lastly, on to Gorillaz. There is no one set sensation I get from this band. They’re so experimental that I get many different sensations from them. My favorite song of theirs is 68 State. Some of their music is very unique to me. For example, their song Every Planet We Reach Is Dead is very purple. No other song has given me purple colors. On top of that, the taste and sensation I get is like standing in fog. It’s not as solid as other bands. On the other hand, their song Fire Coming Out Of The Monkey’s Head is very green and wavy. It’s like a solid stream coming at me in the frequency of waves. Their song Empire Ants is very yellow and minimal in the shapes that it makes. It’s more like spots of color being pushed around on a board than actual highly defined shapes.

There’s a lot of other music that gives me strong sensations, like Pink Floyd, Meshuggah, Sun Araw, Mahlor, YES, Stravinsky, Chopin, etc. but again, the ones I listed were the easiest to describe. There are certain instruments that give me certain sensations, too. The most powerful ones come from brass instruments and more powerful sensations come from violins, acoustic & bass guitars, gu-zhengs, and pianos. However, certain things, such as synths, can give me entirely different sensations. This is why I’m not a big fan of electronic music. Most of it irritates me in some way or another. Of course, the ones that do appeal to me are very powerful, such as Sun Araw and Crystal Castles. But for the most part, I dislike electronic music.

I hope this painted an idea of what it's like for me to interpret sensations. If you're a professional looking to perform research on synesthesia, I'm more than happy to help in any way I can, so hit me up.