Has the word sharp ever tasted salty? Has the number 9 looked like the color orange? Does Mozart's music take the shape of a square? To individuals with synesthesia, these are all distinct possibilities. Having synesthesia myself, I've always wondered if people could taste my name as I've tasted theirs. I thought this was how everyone perceived the world, but this was not the case. Just as it's normal for the sky to be blue to some, it's normal for me to see and taste a conversation. Therefore, normal is a subjective term. Nobody is exempt from this. Just as it's normal for me to have synesthesia, it isn't to someone else.
For those that don't know, synesthesia is a brain disorder (I prefer to think of it as a difference, since "disorder" has a negative connotation to it) in which certain stimuli cause one's sense to blend together. In my particular case, music and words (either spoken or written) cause me to see colors and shapes as well as get taste sensations. This is especially true for guttural spoken languages and words with hard vowel sounds. I also get strong sensations from brass and string instruments as well as electronic music. There are many bands that trigger my synesthesia pleasurably, but I'm going to stick to 3: Gorillaz, Crystal Castles, and Explosions in the Sky.
Gorillaz is probably the most powerful of of any sensation. Boasting an incredibly diverse sound, I get incredibly diverse sensations. For example: their song El Mañana tastes crunchy to me, whereas Fire Coming Out Of The Monkey's Head is green and wavy, while Every Planet We Reach Is Dead is very purple and gives me the sensation of standing in fog. A much more defined sensation, Crystal Castles is very linear, brightly colored, and short lived to me. For example, their song Knights gives me cadet blue lattice structures that taste like popcorn. In stark contrast, Explosions in the Sky is very deeply colored, flowing, and liquid-y to me, like a Tai Chi of music. The First Breath After Coma is very scarlet and washes over me, coming in waves. While all this is very remarkable, keep in mind that I can't turn these sensations off.
Synesthesia is very intrusive in day-to-day life for me. Constantly reading signs and billboards, as well as conversation and music played in a public store can be very overwhelming for me. I've learned to cope with it (since I've had it my entire life) but there are still some obnoxious sensations that can be very stressing. It's possible for me to go from completely relaxed to completely agitated, so in that way I'm very fickle. I don't expect people to understand my idiosyncrasies, which can also be stressful when someone asks why I get agitated at something. Remember: Normal is a subjective term. Everyone has their own ideas of what normality is.
Just like the flip side of a coin, synesthesia is amazing in personal life. When I go home and crack open a book, play a vinyl, and burn some incense... Man alive nothing beats that feeling. It also comes alive when I write, making wordplay fun. Even right now, there are colors and tastes firing off in my mind. I honestly couldn't image life without my synesthesia, either. It's all a matter of finding a balance, like Yin & Yang. Both on their own is bad, but balanced together they create a harmony.
Conformity (not over-conformity) is something everyone strives for, whether they notice it or not. It means functioning in society, which is survival. While it gives me a unique perspective, I don't think my synesthesia makes me special or anything. (I mean good God, I'd be the worst kind of special snowflake if I did.) I have a different challenge but the same goal as others: fake it until you make it. I reserve judgement because normal is a subjective term. We all face the struggle of conformity, though.
Normality is what we define it as, not an absolute truth. Think before you judge someone else for being "weird". There's a good chance they can turn around and say the same thing about you.
Other Synesthesia Essays/Pieces:
A post on Wordpress
A student study on synesthesia
A good brief review that showcases other sources
I have the most common form of synesthesia, grapheme -> color, which is of course less complex than yours.
ReplyDeleteI've been amazed at the way that the Internet has helped synesthetes reveal how much more common these conditions are than previously thought. I went to college in the early-to-mid-nineties, before very many people were online, which is when I read the first book I ever found on the topic, 'The Man Who Tasted Shapes.' It estimated that there was only 1 synesthete in every million people. Now that the Internet allows people to write about their personal experiences in a way that can be discovered by others across the globe, synesthesia, neurodiversity, gender non-conformity, and many other human experiences have been shown to be much less isolated. For many, it's been such a blessing to feel less alone & to understand themselves better.
I have three questions for you:
Have you read 'Born on a Blue Day' by Daniel Tammet? He's an openly gay British high-functioning autistic savant whose multilayered synesthesia--his numbers have shapes, colors, & personalities--helps him calculate effortlessly. He also learns languages rapidly. He's not a gifted writer, exactly, but the way his mind operates is interesting.
Also, does listening to sounds like music or conversation ever alter the taste of food that you are eating? Does the physical food taste blend with the sound taste, or does one override the other?
Are there authors whose writing (or people whose speech patterns) you can't stand to read (or hear) because it tastes awful?
Sorry I'm terrible at managing comments. 1) Yes, I have. I'm also a sexual minority and find his book fascinating as an autistic because it shows me how other autistics function. It also shows me how others find solace in their synesthesia. However, unlike Daniel, my synesthesia doesn't focus on numbers as a whole but instead they way they are accentuated. For example: 9 doesn't trigger my synesthesia but nine does because I see the way it's being accentuated (nine is a flash of purple with a tart aftertaste).
Delete2) Yes, they blend together. However, the taste of my food/beverage is more immediate thus being the stronger of the 2 sensations. However, an aftertaste blends with sensations much better.
3) Yes, some accents are enjoyable while others I can't stand. As previously stated, the accentuation is what my synesthesia focuses on. I find solace in certain writing styles more than accents, though. See, a writing style is more constant while a person's vocabulary and speech patterns are ever evolving. This makes for an unreliable sensation (this isn't always bad, but when I need to destress I prefer vinyls and books over listening to someone talk).
Any more questions?